Leadership Development: “results are not immediate.”

Leadership Development: “results are not immediate.”

Last week a group of non-profit leaders from elder-serving organizations met here, and one thread that ran through our conversations, was begun by my colleague Audrey, who said that she was increasingly aware in leadership development work that “results are not immediate.”  Results come in their own time. 

 Her words have stayed with me, particularly after watching the closing ceremony of the Rio Olympics.  How long people trained to compete at that level!  The amount of practice to develop that level of mastery.  The quality of coaching.  The support of family, friends.  “The results are not immediate.”

Read More

Find and Know Your Why

Find and Know Your Why

Gifts have been on my mind--both literal giving and receiving but, also natural gifts that we share with the world in a sometimes less obvious way. I am reminded of Michael Jr's Know Your Why and share that video below. I also, share a video of my thoughts on what this means for me and a story of a gift that was given to me.

Read More

Don't Go Changing

Don't Go Changing

Sometimes songs go through my head.  And stay around, circle around, repeating themselves. Sometimes it's just the melody, and I can't even recall the lyrics.  I end up having to hum whatever it is to my musically talented husband.  And he comes up with the name of the song, and searches out the lyrics.  

I've learned over time to pay attention to those lyrics, just as I have learned to pay attention to a line of poetry that circles around in my mind.  To take the words seriously.  To mull them over.  To be curious about what they might have to teach me.  Now.

Read More

The Trees Remain the Same

The Trees Remain the Same

Here are questions that occur to me after sitting with this morning's poem.

1) life has its ups and downs.  Am I able to see the darker seasons as a natural consequence of changes in the "weather" of my life?

2) the Quaker tradition talks of the Light within, that of the Divine within. Whatever my spiritual tradition, Am I able to sustain access to that Light?

Read More

Limbo or Transformation?

Limbo or Transformation?

I love this season of the  transformation of trees.  They go through remarkable changes.  This picture of River Tree (I have named her that) reminds me of the transformation and how unpredictable is the unfolding of things.   River Tree could be described as the offshoot of a tree long gone, that has grown over the creek, and looks most days as if it is about to fall in the water.  But never does.  Some limbs are leafy.  Some bare.  The trunk has shoots growing straight up--suckers are what tree people call them.  Usually they get trimmed off.  But not with River Tree.  She is this wild mix of limbs and shoots and sprouts.  Hanging out over the water.  Yet how powerful, how spectacular the effect of the light of sunset last night on this tree (however you want to think about the Light as a metaphor in our lives...).

Read More

An Alive Conversation on End of Life Wishes

An Alive Conversation on End of Life Wishes

Though written in the aftermath of my father's choice to end his life, now twenty years ago, when he was in the late stages of pancreatic cancer, I hope this personal reflection can help and support others as they engage in courageous conversations about what people hope for as they approach the end of life.

The experience and the writing of the book happened a decade before, by chance and good fortune, I began creating leadership development programs for nonprofit organizations that serve elders. So what was a family story for me, now is a much larger society-wide dialogue.

Read More

The Psychology of Optimism

The Psychology of Optimism

I've been thinking a lot about the work of Carol Dweck about two contrasting mindsets-- the first is the growth mindset where we think that intelligence and other ability is malleable.  And if we keep working at it we will do better. 

The second is what she calls a fixed mindset--where we think talents and intelligence are pretty much a given. Fixed.  And when I hit a setback it means I'm not as smart as they tell me. 

Read More

Living the Life You Want

Living the Life You Want

Events in recent days--friends mourning losses of parents, conversations about living life to its fullest in the presence of health challenges, and conversations about end of life decisions--all bring back memories of my dad's passing, which I wrote about in my first book, The Choice.   

That book was about Dad's decision to end his life with the help of Dr Kevorkian, a choice that my brother and I supported.  But rereading the book now, I realize the book is also about the gift, as a daughter, of being included in the conversation about what Dad wanted--which was to die at home. 

Read More

The Power of the Pause

The Power of the Pause

A few days ago, working with leaders from nonprofits who serve elders, I opened with a poem.  When we took a break, one of the executives whose leadership experience before entering eldercare was in the military, asked me "Why don't you leave a moment of silence after you read a poem?" 

I was startled. And appreciative of his question. I'm a great proponent of the power of silence--as you can see in the poem of mine that follows--but with poems, especially my own, I have a hard time practicing what I preach.  

Read More

A Different Kind of Circus

A Different Kind of Circus

The first time I saw a Cirque de Soleil performance I was blown away. The beauty of it. The gymnastic skill. The use of colors. The silk ropes. A whole new world.

The second time I saw them I was in Las Vegas for work and saw a performance of Love, a spectacular enthralling experience built around music by the Beatles. It was so amazing I knew it would be worth a second trip to Las Vegas (a city I don't enjoy) just to see it again.

These circus performers were different than those in the traditional circus.  And it brought to mind the Greenhouse movement in the field of care for frail elders.  The Greenhouses look unlike a traditional nursing home. They are managed by a Shabazim, a person whose role that breaks all the traditions of the older care models--by creating a small homelike setting with a "homemaker" who provides care and connection.

Read More

On Encouragement

On Encouragement

I came away from last week's poetry gathering at Kirkridge--Bread for the Journey--thinking of the power of encouragement in the lives of those who love poetry and those who write it. 

Eighty-four of us gathered for four days--listening to poets and poetry. And to stories about poets and their poetry.  And everywhere were stories of encouragement. 

Read More

The Cactus

The Cactus

This picture of my rangy blooming  cactus servers as a reminder to me that things take time and all natures critters bloom at their own speed. Including you and me. 

I can't remember where the cactus came from. Maybe a gift years back.  It seems to survive long periods without much water or attention.  But it's a gangly thing growing in strange directions with some branches that seem almost broken. 

Read More